by Janice
Author’s notes: A huge thank you to LoriD, who edited this story such a long time ago that she must think I’ve forgotten about it. Your efforts are appreciated!
This story follows directly after Growth Rings. If you can’t remember the event which happened at the end of that story, this will not make much sense! As always, if you need help remembering what came before, check the Reminder Page.
Saturday, February 19, 1994
Dear Diary
This evening I’ve had the biggest shock in years! Peter, Bob and I went over to Rose Cottage for what we thought was a casual get-together and Jim and Trixie announced that they’re getting married - in seven weeks’ time!
I’m so worried about Trixie. I know I should be happy that my little girl is getting married, but Diary, she’s so young and they’re in such a hurry. I’m worried that she’s pregnant, but, independent soul that she is, she won’t tell me. I don’t want her to have the problems that I did. Not that I was pregnant when we married, as you well know, Diary.
A few of my friends did wonder about that, though. It was soon enough afterwards that I was the only one who knew for sure.
And as much of a blessing as Brian was - and still is - it would have been nice to have some time to adjust to married life before being launched into parenthood. As it was, the morning sickness set in only a month into our marriage and I was so tired I could barely stay awake the whole day.
Then before we knew what was happening we had a toddler and two babies!
Oh, Diary, I’ve tried to tell her about that. I’ve tried to explain how easy it is to have a little ‘surprise’, but I don’t think she was really listening. All she said was, ‘Don’t worry, Moms,’ and rolled her eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking.
Sunday, February 20, 1994
Dear Diary
I had a talk with Peter today about my concerns and you’ll never believe what he said to me. He said I should be excited about the prospect of grandchildren!
I’m too young to be a grandmother. Why, I’m only 44! And my baby is only 21. She’s too young for this. Why can’t she see it?
One good thing happened today, though, Diary. I talked to Trixie at breakfast this morning and she promised to set aside tomorrow evening to have a long talk about the plans. At least we should be able to get everything properly arranged.
Monday, February 21, 1994
Dear Diary
My talk with Trixie was disastrous! I tried so hard not to let her know that I disapprove, but she saw right through me. For a little while, I thought she would refuse to make any plans at all. Then, Jim arrived and everything started to go smoothly again.
That’s the one thing that makes this bearable, Diary: it’s Jim that she wants to marry. He’s so steady that I think he’ll be able to keep her anchored. I just wish they would wait a little while.
On the positive side, we made lots of plans for the wedding. Once Jim was there to interpret for me, it turned out that Trixie had plenty of ideas of what she wanted. I think it will be beautiful. I know that mothers are supposed to want elaborate weddings for their daughters, but I think a simple wedding will suit Trixie perfectly.
They’ll be married at 11 a.m. in the little stone church just down the road and then everyone will come back here for lunch on the back patio an hour later. There won’t be any bridesmaids or attendants and Trixie will wear a simple dress. We didn’t even talk of using mine as we both know it would never, ever fit!
She doesn’t want a proper bouquet, either. She’ll carry a bunch of flowers tied in ribbon.
Tuesday, February 22, 1994
Dear Diary
I had another talk with Peter today. He reminded me how old I was when we got married, and the reasons we married when we did. I don’t think it’s the same at all!
It is true that I was already a mother at Trixie’s age. After all, Brian was born when I was 20. Times have changed, though. Back then, women didn’t have careers after they had children. It just wasn’t usual. Trixie can do whatever she likes.
And the other thing is to do with sex. Back then most people still thought that ‘nice girls’ didn’t have sex outside of marriage. These days it hardly seems to matter to most people. I felt that I had to marry Peter for us to have a physical relationship. As much as I hate to say it, it’s something that Trixie doesn’t “have” to do.
Wednesday, February 23, 1994
Dear Diary
Well, we’ve finished the guest list for the wedding. Madeleine Wheeler, Trixie, Jim and I sat down and worked at it until we thought we’d never get it sorted out. It’s amazing how quickly the numbers add up! Trixie initially said that she only wanted about twenty or thirty guests but once we’d counted up all the Bob-Whites, plus Ginnie and Lennox, the rest of the immediate family and the few other friends that they mentioned, we already had about twenty-five people.
That’s when it got difficult. I couldn’t leave out my sister Alicia, especially since Trixie insisted on inviting Peter’s brother, Andrew. Alicia loves weddings, and even if she’s not Trixie’s favourite relative, Trixie is her only niece. Thankfully, Madeleine’s list was much less complicated. Few of their relatives expect to be invited and she and Matthew have selected a small list of friends.
I’ll be putting in the order for the invitations first thing in the morning, so that we can send them out as soon as possible. Oh, why couldn’t they have a longer engagement, Diary? I can’t see how we’ll ever be ready.
Saturday, February 26, 1994
Dear Diary
I spent today with Trixie looking at wedding dresses. She turned the tables on me, Diary! She asked me whether I’d prefer for her to just move in with Jim, the way Honey moved in with Dan. I had to say no, I’d rather she marry him.
Oh, when am I going to be okay with this, Diary? I really do want to be happy for her.
Monday, February 28, 1994
Dear Diary
Bob came home from school today with a question. It seems that someone told him that his sister is pregnant and he wanted to know if it was true. Oh, Diary, I didn’t know what to say. What can I say when I don’t know? I told him he’d have to ask Trixie that, so he went straight off to call her at work.
He didn’t have any better luck than I did. She told him it was none of his business and that if she was, she’d tell him in her own time, thank you very much. I think it’s lucky that I didn’t hear his response to that, as I expect it was not fit for his mother’s ears.
I worry about him sometimes. He’s by far the most restless of my children and it’s so lonely for him now with Brian and Mart living away and Trixie at work. I don’t think he’ll stay close to home when he finishes school! That’s the best of the situation with Trixie: she’ll only be two doors away.
Wednesday, March 2, 1994
Dear Diary
This evening we had another little meeting and Trixie has reluctantly agreed to move the reception to the Manor House. The further we got along, the more obvious it was that we needed a bigger kitchen than the one here at the farm.
It will make it easier to get everything ready as well. This way, we can set up all the tables and chairs the day before and Madeleine has offered crystal and china for the bridal table. We won’t need to worry so much about the weather, either.
During the week this week it’s my job to finalise all of the items to be hired. Trixie has too much on her mind at the moment to worry about such things.
Saturday, March 5, 1994
Dear Diary
Trixie is spending the weekend with Honey. She called today to say that she’d found the perfect wedding dress. She says she’ll bring a picture of it when she comes home tomorrow night. She couldn’t give me any reasonable description of it over the phone, but then I wouldn’t expect that from Trixie!
Monday, March 7, 1994
The picture Trixie showed me of her wedding dress is beautiful. It’s pure white and quite plain, but cut in a way that will suit her figure. It has a round neckline and enough fullness in the skirt to make her look nicely curved without it being over the top. She’ll have to choose her shoes carefully, though, as they will show.
Tuesday, March 8, 1994
Dear Diary
I took out the family album today and looked at old photos when I should have been weeding the garden. I can’t believe that so much time has gone by and yet the results are right in front of my eyes.
Peter was right, Diary. I should be happy that my children have grown up to be such strong, independent people. And I am, mostly. I am glad that Trixie is strong enough to follow her own path whether I approve of it or not. It does hurt that she doesn’t need me anymore - but she hasn’t needed me for a long time.
Saturday, March 12, 1994
Dear Diary
Perhaps my daughter does need me after all! This morning I received a rather distraught phone call from Trixie. It seems that she and Jim had a fairly serious fight while they were out shopping and I was the one she turned to. Then, when they’d worked everything out, she called me again to tell me about it.
It made me feel so wanted and useful, Diary. I haven’t felt that way for so long. Peter says that I should look for something else to devote myself to now that we have an almost-empty nest. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
I would like to paint, again. It’s been a long time, though, Diary and I don’t know that the spark is still there. Maybe when Bob leaves home I might try.
Tuesday, March 15, 1994
Dear Diary
I went up to the attic this morning, meaning to clean it out a little. When I got there, though, I found a box of things from our wedding (we never did get around to un-childproofing the house) and it got me thinking. When we made the plans, Trixie insisted that she wanted everything really simple - and I agreed with her. But now that I’ve looked at my old mementos, I’ve had a few ideas.
We were in such a hurry to marry that I didn’t take the time to make a lot of plans. One thing I really regret is that I didn’t involve our close friends more. Trixie has such strong friendships it would be a pity not to make them part of the ceremony.
The other thing I could have done differently is to give my guests some sort of keepsake. So many weddings I’ve been to since have had personal touches to make it really special. Our wedding would have been better if I’d thought of that. Maybe Trixie’s could be too.
When she comes home this evening, I think I might make a few suggestions.
Wednesday, March 16, 1994
Dear Diary
Trixie loved my ideas! I’m so happy that we’re starting to connect, again. She immediately started rearranging all of the plans to fit in what I’d said.
To begin with, she’s decided that they’ll have the rest of the Bob-Whites as attendants and not worry about who is in which role. The men will wear suits and the women will sort out their dresses amongst themselves, according to Trixie! I think it might be a little confusing, but it stops anyone being left out.
The other idea was a little harder. I suggested that she write a list of all the things that she and Jim are interested in and the things they feel are important and she went off straight away to do that. The results surprised me. She decided to give the wedding a theme of sorts. Since they’ll be living in Rose Cottage she thought that her theme could be roses.
I’m glad she’s chosen something simple, so it won’t be too hard to make it come together with so little time left.
Friday, March 18, 1994
Dear Diary
I have the most delicious secret! Honey came over today and showed me something. It’s her contribution to the wedding, but I’m not allowed to tell anyone until they see for themselves on the day.
I think I can tell you, though, Diary. When Honey heard that the theme for the day would be roses, she remembered seeing something which would be perfect, so she went and bought them. They’re the most beautiful rose-patterned tablecloths in pure white, with the pattern woven into the fabric. There’s a big one for the bridal table and a small one for the cake table. We’ll have plain white for the rest of the tables.
While she was here, Honey told me about the plans for the cake. Dan was beginning to regret agreeing to make it, especially when he heard about the theme, until Diana offered to make sugar roses to put on it. She’s begun practicing already, apparently. Knowing her, I’m sure they’ll be absolute works of art.
Saturday, March 19, 1994
Dear Diary
This morning at breakfast, Trixie gave me another shock. She’s suddenly gained an interest in the planning of the wedding that extends past a list of things she doesn’t want!
She’s decided that her theme isn’t strong enough and it needs what she called a “special something” to make it work. I’m at my wit’s end trying to think what it might be!
Wednesday, March 23, 1994
Dear Diary
The guest room is beginning to look like a flower shop! Everything you can imagine with roses on it has made its way here to be considered for the wedding. Jim went through countless boxes at Rose Cottage looking for the “special something” that we need.
I went through every room in the house looking. The trouble is I have hardly anything with roses on it. Honey dropped in some more things as well, so Trixie will have quite a lot to go through on the weekend.
Saturday, March 26, 1994
Dear Diary
I think we’ve pinned down the “special something” at last. Honey and Diana came over this morning and helped Trixie go through everything.
Trixie hadn’t wanted formal place cards telling everyone where to sit, so we hadn’t ordered any. The girls decided today that each place setting would have a little gift for the guest who would sit there. Honey said that she had seen some small chocolate boxes with roses on the lid and said that she would try to get enough for all the guests.
As for all the various articles gathered in my guest room, they chose a few to decorate the reception room and one or two for the church and I have to return the rest.
Wednesday, March 30, 1994
Dear Diary
Honey has really outdone herself this time. When we talked last weekend about chocolates for the guests, I thought she meant ones in cardboard boxes with pictures of roses on the lid.
This evening she brought over a huge box filled with little red rose-shaped boxes, each with four tiny rose-shaped chocolates inside. They’ll look absolutely perfect against the white tablecloths.
Thursday, March 31, 1994
Dear Diary
It’s getting very close to the big day now. I’m starting to worry that we’ve forgotten something. I keep going through the list we made way back at the beginning, looking for the thing that’s missing.
Honey and Diana promised they would look after clothes, hair, make-up, and accessories for Trixie and themselves. I trust them to make sure that every detail is considered, so that part’s all right. Likewise, Madeleine has taken the men’s attire under her supervision, so they’re sure to look the part.
Jim has arranged all of the people who will be helping us - the photographer, the minister, and the musicians. He’s so capable that I’m sure he’s done well. I’m not worried about the cake, either. Dan is a very good baker and Diana has already dropped off an extra box of her roses, just in case. (As I predicted, they’re just beautiful. She is so talented!)
I don’t even need to worry about transporting everyone to and from the church since Brian and Mart are looking after that.
Which leaves the things I’m looking after: the food and the flowers. It didn’t seem that much when I agreed to it. I thought they’d given me easy things, but now that the time is drawing closer I feel like it’s closing in on me.
And I don’t even have to do very much cooking! The cook at the Manor House will be doing the bulk of the work in that respect, and Isabella and Celia have taken on a lot of extra duties to have everything ready. Really, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them polishing the ceiling!
Saturday, April 2, 1994
Dear Diary
Today we had the final check of all the dresses in Honey and Dan’s apartment and I brought them all home with me to press. Trixie looks so elegant in her dress. I can hardly believe this is the same girl who seemed to spend all her time looking as if she just crawled out of the garden.
All three of them looked beautiful. I hadn’t seen the dresses that Honey and Diana had chosen before and Trixie’s descriptions hadn’t helped much. They’re a lovely shade of deep blue, similar in cut to Trixie’s dress, but a little less full in the skirt.
Oh, Diary, this is going to be a beautiful wedding! And only one more week to wait. After the Easter Sunday service tomorrow, Peter and I are going out for a quiet lunch by ourselves. I’m sure the days will simply slip away after that until that one last week is gone, too.
Thursday, April 7, 1994
Dear Diary
I’m happy to say that most of the preparation is done now. In two days’ time my little girl will be Mrs. Frayne. As much as I didn’t want this when they told me, I’ve come to think it will be a very good thing.
I think I overreacted, Diary. When I talk to her now, I see how much more mature she is compared to me when I married Peter. She has a career in mind and is working hard towards it. I don’t think she’ll be put off by obstacles. If they do start a family straight away, my Trixie won’t just stay at home and be Mommy. She’s too focused to let her dreams slip away the way mine did.
Friday, April 8, 1994
Dear Diary
Well, the wedding is tomorrow and I think everything is ready. It won’t be the simple wedding that Trixie first planned, but it’s not a formal, traditional one, either.
The TV weather report said that we could expect a sunny day and I certainly hope that it’s right. It would be terrible to have to deal with rain tomorrow.
Right now, I can hear lots of giggles from Trixie, Honey, and Diana who are just down the hall. I’m glad that they’re all staying here tonight. It will make it so much easier in the morning.
I know why Trixie chose to have a morning wedding - they only have a couple of days for a honeymoon - but it would have been so much easier if she’d chosen to have an afternoon one! I’d better get to sleep now, Diary. It will be a big day tomorrow.
Saturday, April 9, 1994
Dear Diary
The wedding was so beautiful. It was perfect in practically every way. All of our hard work has paid off and the happy couple are on their way to Easthampton for a quick honeymoon. A friend of Mrs. Hall’s, who they met when they stayed at Cobbett’s Island all those years ago, owns a little cottage there. I don’t have the energy to write much tonight, Diary, but I’ll take the time tomorrow to make a fuller account.
Before I go to sleep, though, I want to tell you about one of the most beautiful moments of the whole day. I don’t suppose I was meant to hear, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Dan and I couldn’t help but listen when I heard his voice just behind me. He was talking to Jim, congratulating him, when Trixie and Honey came up to them. Then, Dan said something which really stood out to me. He said, ‘Here’s the lady responsible for doubling the numbers in the House of Frayne.’ I heard Jim let out a surprised laugh, and glanced back to see him pull Trixie close and kiss her cheek.
I think it was then that I really understood what had happened. Trixie belongs with Jim; I’d known that for such a long time. But, he needs her, too. He looked so happy and content today, and it’s Trixie who does that for him. Jim deserves to be happy, and if this is what will make him happy, so be it.
The End
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