I don’t know how we got into this situation, really. I mean, one thing we were just a bunch of nobodies, then, ka-pow, everyone wants to be in with us. Well, more like, with them. I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider. Last one to join the group and then left out half the time, that’s me.

Still, I got the best girl – though, I wouldn’t say so in front of Jim. And that’s my claim to fame, too. My Honey is hitting the big time. Her books are selling so well now she could give college the flick and live off them, but she doesn’t.

As for the rest of it, I guess it all started when Di hooked up with that loser Lennox - don’t tell her I said that, though. I don’t know why girls go after the slimy type. He gives me the creeps.

Anyhow, a while back, Lennox somehow got a part in a big budget movie. Not the lead or anything, just a supporting part. It was out last Christmas and did pretty well. Before it was even out, he was working on something else. He said it was a bigger project and he did a fair bit of boasting as to how he was playing the lead. I could probably recite the guy’s entire career history, he repeated it so many times. And I hate him! I avoided him anytime I could.

I don’t think any of us knew just how big it was until it came out. We’re talking summer blockbuster. And then he’s this big star and Di’s being followed by paparazzi. There was one guy who’s lucky I didn’t punch his lights out. They really piss me off, you know?

So Di’s hiding from these camera freaks when her dead-beat ex - don’t tell her I said that either, okay? - what’s-his-name Easterbrook, who’s pretty famous now, too, gets on some show and says how he knew her. I don’t know how she picks ’em. First a future major league baseballer, then an actor, right before he makes it big. Nice girl, Di. Bad taste in men, though. Actually, you’d better not tell Di that we ever had this conversation.

Next thing, Di has lunch with Honey and Trixie in some quiet little cafe, thinking they can get away with it, only a photographer sees them and takes some shots. Some friend of Trixie’s shows her the picture of them in a trashy magazine with not only Di’s name but, get this, Honey’s pen name. I don’t know how they got it; hell, she doesn’t even look like a Magnolia if you ask me.

That was some weird idea of her publisher’s. Magnolia, I mean. She was all set to call herself Madeleine Robertson, or Madeleine White – like our mutual acquaintance Robert White – but they say, no, it’s not unusual enough, and come up with Magnolia.

Actually, it might have been my fault that someone recognised her. When she first got published, she had her hair real short and this reddish colour. She got this wig made in her natural colour, longer than she used to have it before she cut it all off. So, for every public appearance she’d wear the wig and these clothes she kept just for them and big glasses. That was the publisher’s idea too; it was supposed to make her look older and more sophisticated.

Then, when we got together I told her I liked the wig better than her real hair. I got her to wear it around the house sometimes and – well, we won’t go there. Then I started asking her to stop dying it, which she did, eventually. And I still wasn’t happy. I like my woman to have longer hair than I do, you know? Hair that I can run my fingers through. So, she’s started growing it, now. Which is probably why she got recognised, but mostly I’m not sorry cause I like it better how it is now.

Anyhow, it makes the whole thing worse, ’cause now the trashy mags have a story on how rising star Lennox’s girl is an old friend to successful crime writer Magnolia Robertson and neither Honey or Di can show their face in public without some sicko ducking behind trashcans and pretending he’s not following them. It makes me sick. After the rough patch Honey and I went through a little while back, I don’t want her being stressed like that.

What’s that? The Mrs. Parker thing? It’s her secret and I don’t think she wants to tell it just yet. She didn’t even tell Trixie until she had no other choice – and you know how close those two are. Between you and me, I’d rather that she was called Mrs. Mangan, but she doesn’t think so.

You didn’t hear what everyone else was doing, did you? Well, Brian’s in his last year of med now, so he’s not around much. I only see him a couple of times a year, and haven’t heard from him in a while, either. Yes, he’s still with Ginnie. I guess they’ll get married one day, but it must be pretty hard when you’re both studying to be doctors.

Mart’s back at his uncle’s. Do you know what’s up with him? Me neither. Gotta get that out of him pretty soon. Ever since he got back from Australia, he’s been… I dunno, different somehow. He dropped that whole polysyllabic word thing, for one, and am I glad! You’d strain your brain trying to understand him before. I was kind of surprised that he went back to Iowa after graduation, actually. I almost expected him to go off travelling again. And I think he still writes to that family he spent Christmas with. Maybe he needs the money. You’re sure you don’t know what he’s up to? Leave it with me; I’ll find out.

Anyway, Jim and Trixie have barely shown their heads above the covers since they got married. There’s that to be said for waiting – for sex, I mean – it really spices things up when you actually do the deed. She was pretty mad about those rumours. Did you hear them? About her being pregnant? Honey told me that the whole time that was going on, Trixie was still a virgin. Don’t tell anyone I said that. It’s supposed to be a secret.

Where was I? Oh, thanks. Trixie’s working for some English dude, I forget his name. Fitzpatrick? No, it might come back to me, though. He’s pretty well-known in his field, she says. She was stoked to get the job. He lives a little way down river from Sleepyside and works from home, which suits her just fine.

Sir Winslow Fitzgerald! That’s it. Always makes me want to put on a fake accent when I hear the name. Only, I’ve met him and he doesn’t look like his name sounds at all. He’s got really wild grey hair, and looks messy all the time. Trixie’s his research assistant or something, and doing some part-time study on the side, and you should hear her talk about it. I think she’d work for him for free. And as for Jim, well, if you’d described his job to me years back, I’d be able to say whose it was, no troubles. It’s so much like his ambition that it’s freaky.

Me? I’ve got my dream job – or at least the closest thing to it this early in my career. I’m working in a team of programmers writing a computer game. It’s all hush-hush at the moment but I can tell you it’s gonna be a winner.

I guess the next thing was connected with Trixie. You know how she always loved to find mysteries and solve them? Well she hasn’t changed. The old guy has a dig somewhere that he works on and he took Trixie out there one day. First thing she does is ask a question about something they’re digging up. Something like, ‘Is that part of a milk churn? We’ve got one of those at home that my grandparents used to use.’

Turns out, they’d been trying to figure out what it was all day and she just says it, right off. Only, the first settlers in the area, which is what they’re researching, wouldn’t have had milk churns like that one – I think it was kind of a weird one – and then they figured out that it was in with all their old stuff because someone had dug a hole, so she’s got a regular mystery on her hands as to why anyone would want to bury a milk churn. The old guy let her work on it for a bit and she figured the whole thing out.

I’m not real sure about the details, but it was something to do with some weird local superstition. She told me the whole thing about how this one family had farmed that land for hundreds of years and that they’d brought their wacko religion from where-ever the hell they came from. All these archaeologists thought it was all pretty exciting. I don’t know why; but then, history never was my strong point. She got on the local news, though.

After that, Honey’s new novel came out and it’s doing really well. I don’t know how she does it. Every time she comes up with something that’s exciting and new, but at the same time they feel, I don’t know, familiar I guess. And it’s not like other people’s novels where you want to kick the ass of half the characters. Or maybe that’s just me. Spending days on end staring at computer screens makes a guy want to hit things, sometimes. I like my job, but it can be frustrating.

Trouble is, Honey can’t go places now without being recognised. She’s thinking of having disguises for when she’s herself instead of when she’s Magnolia. And we’re thinking of moving to somewhere with more security. The other night my buddy and I were playing computer games and some fan of Honey’s knocked on the door at half past three in the morning. He’s lucky my buddy was there to protect him, I tell you.

Then, there’s Di’s thing when she breaks up with one of her dead-beats. She always turns to Honey for that shoulder to cry on. So, when Lennox behaves like a real bastard we’ve got Di on our doorstep, dodging those photographers. At least this time she says she won’t do it again. Yes, Diana Lynch has sworn off men. Never thought I’d see that day.

Right after that the gutter press had a field day. You shoulda seen the things they wrote about poor Di. The way they had it you’d think she’d slept with every man she could get her hands on. She’s tougher than she looks, though. I woulda thought that sweet little Di would just crumple under that kinda pressure, but she’s going strong.

Don’t tell her I said this – remember, we didn’t have this little talk – but, I think you’d better have a talk with her soon. She’s got some pretty big news that I think you should hear. No, you’ll have to hear it from her.

And have a talk to Trixie, too. All this stuff that’s been going on made it pretty hard to have our reunion. We ended up hiring security and having it at the Manor House – not that that solved the problem completely, but that’s a whole other story. Trix and Jim offered their place but I just can’t see the seven of us and Brian’s girlfriend cooped up in that little house for days.

We had a great time, though. Not at all like the last one. We’ve gotten over the whole fight-till-you-can-fight-no-more thing we had going back then. I’m glad of it, too. The Bob-Whites are like family to me and it’s hard when we don’t get along. I think the worst is over now, though. Maybe we’ll get a little peace.

Well, that’s all the news I’ve got. We’ll catch up again later, hey?

The End