Before we begin… This story consists of a number of diary entries written by Diana and intermingled with scenes. They all follow each other chronologically, though the scenes do not always take place directly after the diary entries. That sounds a little complicated, but I am sure you will get the idea.

Part One

Saturday, April 8, 2006

The most amazing thing happened today! I can hardly believe it’s true. Mart actually asked me to marry him and I said yes! I know we’re young, I know people are going to tell us we’re too young, but I just know this is right. And I’ll have had my nineteenth birthday before then and Mart will have had his twentieth. That’s not really so young. I don’t care, though. I’m so happy I could sing.

Diana gazed at the diamond ring on her finger, turning her hand back and forth to admire the effect of its sparkle in the light. At eighteen, she felt like all her dreams were coming true. She and Mart had set a wedding date for August, everyone had been delighted with their news and she had never felt happier.

At a slight sound, she looked up to see Mart watching her. She smiled at him and held out her right hand in an invitation to join her.

“What are you doing, sitting here all alone?” he asked.

She kissed him. “Admiring the ring you gave me. I have to keep reminding myself that this is really happening. It’s almost too good to be true.”

He shook his head. “You and I belong together. This is the beginning of our forever.”

Their hands twined together as they kissed.

Saturday, May 6, 2006

Our engagement party is tonight. I have the most beautiful dress to wear. I’m so excited! Mart has been a bit distracted, but I’m not worried about that. We knew it would be difficult, with all of the commitments we both have. We’re going to be married in three months’ time, so that we go back to college as husband and wife. Mummy is frantic about the arrangements, but I know it will be perfect.

“From right now, there will be no talk about weddings until after breakfast tomorrow, understand?” Trixie’s face was stern and her hands were on her hips. “This is my sleepover and my rules apply and I don’t want to hear about weddings, okay?”

Di let out a fake sigh. “But Trixie, what will we ever find to talk about? There just isn’t anything else we’re interested in at the moment.”

The look that appeared on Trixie’s face was enough to make Honey and Diana burst into laughter.

“We’ll think of something,” Trixie muttered.

“Like the dreaminess of your brothers?” Honey suggested with a straight face.

Trixie made gagging noises. “Those of you who are insane enough to get engaged to my brothers can have that conversation some other time – without me! Please!”

“I’m not engaged to any of your brothers,” Honey pointed out.

Trixie waved the objection away. “You might be, one day.”

“I don’t think so,” Honey replied. “Brian and I broke up an hour ago.”

“Oh, no!” Di wailed, at the same time as Trixie cried, “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Honey soothed, hugging her two friends as they each tried to comfort her. “There’s no hard feelings or anything. We just don’t see enough of each other to be a couple. It’s best this way.”

Di sank down onto Trixie’s bed. “Remember when we used to talk about boys and how maybe, if things worked out the way we’d like it to, we could all marry other Bob-Whites and all be related? I guess this is the end of that dream.”

Trixie sat down next to her and threw an arm across her shoulder. “You’re still going to be related to me, through Mart, and I’ll be related to Honey when I marry Jim one day, so it’s still going to happen. And if you really want us to all marry Bob-Whites, Honey can still marry Dan.”

“Forget me marrying anyone. Who says you’re going to marry Jim?” Honey demanded, sitting down on Di’s other side. “And why have I not heard about this until now?”

Trixie grinned. “It’s not official or anything, but Jim and I know what we want and where we’re going. We’re just going about it in a different way to Mart and Di, that’s all.”

“Well, that’s something,” Di answered, hugging both of her friends. “But even if we were never related to each other, we’re as close as family.”

Friday, June 9, 2006

The strangest thing happened today. I was in the kitchen at Crabapple Farm, chatting with Mart and his mother when Bobby brought in the mail. There was a letter for Mart, which was strange in itself – he doesn’t even live there. The address was written in wobbly old-person writing. I know that’s not polite, but it’s the only way I can describe it. He opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of card with a picture of an ugly bunch of flowers on it. It looked like something from fifty years ago! There was no writing on it at all and no name for the sender on the envelope. Mart just stared at it as if it might bite, but nothing I could say would make him explain it to me. I don’t want to worry about it, but I can’t help being a little uneasy.

“Oh, hello, Diana,” Helen Belden greeted, as Di entered the kitchen at Crabapple Farm. “Mart is out running an errand for me and he’ll be back in a little while.”

“I’m sorry,” she answered. “I thought he’d be here.”

Helen smiled. “Come and sit down. While he’s away, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about anyway.”

As Diana sat, her fiancé’s mother took a plastic bag from the counter and extracted from it a book. “I want you to have this,” she explained. “I’ve copied a lot of it from the one that my mother-in-law gave me when Peter and I were engaged. I’ve added my own touches, too, and left out a few things that I don’t think are useful any more. It’s something of a tradition for the Beldens, I understand.”

Diana opened the book and saw that it was full of recipes. “Thank you,” she told Helen, deeply touched. “Thank you so much. I’ll treasure this always.”

“You’re most welcome,” Helen answered. “We want you to be a part of the family, you know, and the family traditions are something you’ll need to learn.”

Diana smiled and paged through the recipes, remembering times she had eaten some of the dishes detailed. The thought of joining a family with such rich tradition warmed her inside.

Sunday, July 9, 2006

One month and three days until the wedding! I can hardly wait until I’m Mrs. Belden. That sounds so strange – the only Mrs. Belden I know is, well, Mrs. Belden, as in Mart’s mother. It will be so strange to have the same title as her! Mart is acting very strangely, though. I’m starting to be very concerned about him.

Five days before the wedding, Diana awoke with a strange feeling of dread. She lay in bed, wondering what dream she had been having to leave her with such a negative mood, but whatever it had been had fled from her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to summon a good mood by sheer will-power, but it was a struggle. Giving it up, she got out of bed and started preparing for her day. There were still a lot of last-minute details to sort out and she was anticipating a busy time.

As she came down for breakfast, she found that Mart was waiting for her outside the breakfast room, a strange, closed look on his face. Her first thought was that he was ill, but almost at once she dismissed the idea.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice sounding louder than usual to her own ears.

“Fine, fine,” he answered. “I thought we’d have breakfast together. You probably have things you want me to do.”

She nodded and led him to the breakfast table. “Eat up,” she told him. “I have a long list of jobs for today and I’m pretty sure you can help me with some of them.”

“Anything for you,” he promised, smiling.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

The most awful thing has happened! With only three days to go, Mart has gotten cold feet! He won’t explain what it is that’s making him want to stop the wedding, but Mummy insists that I shouldn’t try to change his mind. She says that if he’s not sure, then it’s better to stop now, than to get married and find out it’s a mistake afterwards. But how can it be a mistake? It’s what I’ve always wanted. I’m so unhappy! I can’t believe this is happening to me.

“I think that’s it,” Honey declared, in a voice that was so determinedly cheerful that it made Diana wince. “Between what we’ve done and what the mothers have done, there’s nothing left to cancel, there’s no more guests to inform and there’s no more presents to return. We’re finished.”

“Thank you,” Di murmured to her two best friends. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through this without you.”

Honey gave her a hug. “We’re happy to help.”

“It’s the least I could do, for having such a lame-brained brother,” Trixie added. “I’m so sorry he’s made you so unhappy.”

“I’ll have to give back the book your mother gave me,” Di remembered, with a suddenness that brought fresh tears to her eyes. “I won’t be a part of your family now.”

Trixie shook her head. “I forgot to tell you that Moms told me to tell you to keep it. You’re a part of my family already and she did that book especially for you. And, anyway, he might come back. And, if he doesn’t, I have other brothers. You could have one of them instead. Honey’s finished with Brian – you could have him.”

“Or, if I waited a few years, I could have Bobby?” Di asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is that what you’re suggesting?”

Trixie’s denial was so vehement that her curls bounced. “No, not at all. I didn’t mean that! I was really thinking of Brian, or if you wanted a spare Bob-White, there’s always Dan.”

In spite of her tears, Di laughed. “I’d choose Dan over Bobby any day, but today I don’t think I want any of them.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Honey soothed, giving her another hug. “This is just a hiccup along the way and everything will turn out just fine.”

“I really hope you’re right, Honey.” Diana pulled both of her friends into a group hug. “But whatever happens, I’m so glad I have friends like you two.”

Saturday, September 2, 2006

Well, I’ve arrived at college – all by myself. Mart was so anxious to get away from me that he’s transferred to the far end of the state! It seems so lonely without any other Bob-Whites nearby. It was bad enough last year, when it was the two of us, but now I feel so isolated. I was almost tempted not to come at all, but I’ve decided that my life is not ruined by Mart Belden and his cold feet. I’m going to keep going and when he comes to his senses, he can beg me to take him back.

On the first Friday night on her own, Di wondered what it meant to be single and at college. For the first time, she was on her own, without her close friends or a boyfriend and it left her feeling lost and alone. She had received a few invitations from college friends to go out to various places, but none of them caught her fancy. She was settling down to a night alone in her room when a knock sounded on the door.

“You’re not staying in there and moping, are you?” a female voice called. Di recognised it as that of her friend Andie.

“Of course not,” Di answered, not opening the door. “I’m staying in here, but I’m not moping. Definitely not.”

The other woman laughed. “Open the door and prove it.”

With a sigh, Di rose to her feet and pulled the door open. “See? Not moping. Completely normal.”

Andie stepped inside and threw open the wardrobe. “Get dressed. This will do. We’re going to a party.”

Di rolled her eyes, but did not argue. Something told her that it was easier to go along with the plan, but she also knew that she would not enjoy this evening. At that moment, she longed for her Sleepyside friends, who would never drag her to a party against her will. Sleepyside and its security seemed a long way off in time and distance.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

A whole month and not one word from Mart. I talked to Trixie last night and she hasn’t heard from him, either. None of the family know exactly where he is. It’s like he wanted to disappear. I can’t understand why this has happened. Am I so awful that he wants to run away from everyone? I know I’m not the most intelligent girl in the world, but I’m not completely stupid and I think I have a pleasant personality. I know I’m attractive – people have told me so enough times. So, what is it that’s so wrong with me?

With slow, deliberate movements, Diana selected garments and packed them in the overnight bag that lay on her bed. In less than an hour, she would be leaving for Sleepyside, for a long weekend at home. When she got there, she felt sure that her mother would fuss over her. It was clear from her appearance that she had not been sleeping well. The culprit in that matter appeared at the door at that moment.

“Oh, are you leaving?” Andie asked. “I thought we could go to a party tonight.”

Di shook her head. “Sorry. I can’t.”

“That’s okay. There’s another party I’ve heard about on Saturday. You can go to that one instead.”

Once more, Di shook her head. “I won’t be back until Sunday – and before you suggest it, I won’t be up for a party then, either. I think I’ve been to too many parties lately.”

“You can never go to too many parties,” Andie argued.

Di shrugged, wondering how to terminate what was fast becoming a very unhealthy friendship. “Maybe I’m not the person to be taking to parties, then. I don’t think I can keep up with you.”

“Your loss,” Andie answered, a frown on her face. “I’ll see you when you get back, I guess.”

As the door closed, Di heaved a silent sigh of relief. Perhaps there was an advantage to going home after all.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Today, I’m writing from my old room at the Lynch Estate. This has got to be the worst Thanksgiving ever! I don’t feel thankful at all. I feel ugly and shy and awkward and unwanted. A few months ago, I thought my life was perfect, but it all turned out to be a lie. I don’t understand how I could be so stupid as to think that Mart really wanted me. He just wanted a pretty face and probably to get into my knickers. Thank goodness I didn’t let him!

As her fellow students laughed and mucked around outside her door, Diana sat with a textbook and notepad, trying to concentrate. Since their conversation before Thanksgiving, Andie had not asked Di to a single party. Part of her was relieved, but overall she could see that the alternative was to spend a lot of time all alone.

She set down her pen and sighed. The choice before her was plain: either she could go out and find something to do, or she could stay in and keep at her work. She glanced at the door, which rattled as someone bumped against it on the outside. She glanced back at her book.

With another sigh, Di picked up her pen once more. Life might be going on outside her room, but she did not feel like being part of it just yet.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Well, tonight’s Bob-White Christmas party was a roaring success – NOT! Mart sulked in the corner. I don’t think he would have even come home for Christmas if his mother hadn’t tracked him down and exacted a promise from him. Everyone else seemed to catch his bad mood. I couldn’t even look at him. He looked so unhappy and I felt even worse. So now, not only have we wrecked our relationship, but it looks like we might split up the Bob-Whites. I think the next time I’m invited to a Bob-White get-together, I’ll think of an excuse at the last minute and not show up.

“Are you okay?” Honey asked, from the doorway of the clubhouse.

Di looked up and smiled. “I was just brooding. Last night’s party was pretty awful, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have come. It would have been better without me.”

Honey crossed the room in a few steps and gave her friend’s shoulder a squeeze. “It wasn’t your fault. If anyone should have stayed away, it was Mart.”

“Do you think he’s sorry for what he did?” Di wondered aloud, before she could stop herself. “Does he regret it?”

Honey shrugged. “Maybe. I haven’t really talked to him. Trixie said that he’s angry with himself for making such a mess. I don’t know whether that means he’s sorry, though.”

Di nodded, but did not speak for some time. “I thought he would have begged me to take him back by now. I’ve kind of been waiting for him to do that. I’m starting to think he’s not going to.”

“I wondered about that, too,” Honey admitted. “I don’t know what to tell you, though. I don’t know if you should keep hoping, or just move on.”

Diana shook her head. “I don’t know if I’m ready to move on. How do you know?”

There was a pause as Honey thought. “I’m not sure. I knew that I was ready to move on from Brian when a guy asked me out and my first thought wasn’t that I already had a boyfriend – which, of course, I don’t.”

“Did you go out with him?”

Honey smiled and shook her head. “No, but I went out with the next guy who asked. It wasn’t anything to write home about. I’ve been out with a few different guys, but no one is really standing out as boyfriend material.”

Diana sighed. “It would be nice to have that security again. I’ve missed having someone who’s always there; someone to talk to about anything and everything.”

Honey nodded. “It’s hard being on your own. It’s going to be okay, though. I’m sure of it.”

Monday, January 1, 2007

A new year and some resolutions for me. Last night, I decided not to mope any more. It’s been over four months since Mart ripped my heart out and I think it’s time to move forward. He still won’t talk to me, so I’d better give up that hope I had that he would come back when he’d gotten over his fright. I’m going to go out on some dates this year. I’m going to make some new friends. I’m going to start enjoying my life again.

“It’s Diana, isn’t it?” a voice asked, as Di packed her belongings after class. “I’m Amy.”

“I remember,” Di answered. “We had a class together last year, didn’t we?”

The other girl nodded. She gestured to a bunch of students of both genders. “A group of us are starting a study group. We wondered if you’d like to join it.”

Di smiled. From what she recalled, the people involved were not from the partying crowd. “Sounds good. When do we start?”

As Amy led her over to the others and began talking about times and places, Di smiled. This, she hoped, was a step in the right direction.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Men are so frustrating! Why is it that they seem nice when I talk to them, but when we go on a date they turn out to be strange, or dull, or psychotic? Surely, there has to be at least one nice guy around here? Doesn’t there?

“Everyone, we’ve got a couple of newcomers today,” Amy called, as the study group assembled. “This is Todd and this is Rick.” She then rattled off the names of all the study group members present, which the two men would never remember.

They each nodded in acknowledgement of the introductions and the group got down to business. Diana took covert glances at each of them in turn. She had gone on one date each with a couple of the guys in the group, but neither time had been successful. She wondered whether one of these two might make a good date.

With a shake of her head, Di set the idea aside. She would get to know them a little first and see what happened. In the meantime, she had work to do.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I think, finally, my luck has turned. Last night’s date was good. More than good. It was great. Good enough to agree to a second date. His name is Rick Taylor and he’s a business major, but we have one course in common and he came to our study group. He’s taking me to a restaurant on Saturday, so we’ll see how he does at a solid evening of conversation.

Diana arrived home from her second date with Rick with a thoughtful smile on her face. He had kissed her goodnight at the door to her building, but declined to come in, citing an early morning the next day. Di had been set on going to her room to reflect on her evening, but before she had taken two steps across the foyer of her dorm building, Amy pounced on her, seemingly from nowhere.

“Well?” she asked. “How was it?”

Di smiled. “Nice. We talked. We ate. He walked me home and kissed me goodnight.”

“And?”

“And we’re going out again on Tuesday.”

“That’s it?” Amy was eyeing her in what Di considered to be a suspicious manner.

She nodded. “Yes, that’s it. He’s nice and I like him and I’m going to give him a chance, okay?”

“Fine. Great.” Amy smiled and started for the stairs. “I’m glad you’ve found someone you like.”

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I met Rick’s parents today. They seem like lovely people. They’re visiting for a few days on the way to a wedding. I know it’s soon, but I’m starting to think he might be the one. We have such a lot in common. I’m starting to think about how we might spend the summer together. I don’t want to spend a lot of time apart, if we can help it. I think that was part of the problem between me and Mart. I don’t want to repeat the mistakes I made with him.

“It’s nice to see them, but it’s kind of a relief that they’re gone,” Rick commented, as he and Di walked away from seeing his parents off. He smiled that smile that made her insides feel funny. “I thought we might take a walk. Mom and Dad like the indoors just a little too much.”

Di nodded her agreement to the plan and took his hand as they wandered. The sun was shining down on them, a gentle breeze was ruffling the leaves of the avenue of trees they passed under and everything was right in Diana’s world. She gave a contented sigh.

“That good, huh?” he asked, amused.

Di looked up at him and nodded. “It’s a beautiful day.”

Rick glanced around, as if he had not noticed. “Yeah, it is.” A moment later, he changed the subject. “I’m going to have to cancel our date for tomorrow. I just have too much on my plate at the moment.”

The contented feeling started to flee away. “I understand,” Di murmured. “Can we make another time?”

He frowned a little. “I can make some time on Saturday,” he offered. “That is, if you can do some proof-reading for me?”

Di nodded. “Sure.” A little bit of proof-reading was a small price to pay for more time with Rick.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

My plans are finally coming together. Rick’s sister has a spare room in her apartment and she’s offered it to me for the summer at a really good rate. I have a job to go to and Rick has one, too. All I have to do now is convince my mother that this is a good idea. She seems to think I should spend every vacation at home, doing nothing much at all. She doesn’t seem to accept that I’m grown up now and need to do my own thing. I think this time with Rick will be just what I need.

“I need a break,” Rick groaned, stretching his shoulders. “How long have we been here?”

Di looked at her watch. “Well, it’s just after one, so I guess about four hours.”

“Time for lunch, my treat,” he answered. “There’s a great place opened up around the corner that sells the best hamburgers.”

“Couldn’t I just get a salad or something? I don’t think I’m all that hungry.”

Rick grinned and shook his head. “Come on. Everyone loves hamburgers. This place makes the best ones you’ve ever tasted.”

Conceding defeat, Di gathered her belongings and the two left the library together. The short walk did not take long and the service at the new burger place was swift. Soon, she was biting into her burger, the juice from the tomato dripping down the side of her mouth.

“See?” Rick crowed. “Isn’t that the best hamburger you’ve ever tasted?”

Di cast around for a diplomatic answer. While it was not terrible, she had eaten better at Wimpy’s and much better at the Beldens’. “It’s good,” she settled upon. “Much better than the place we went to a couple of weeks ago.”

“You mean the Burger Shack? What was wrong with them?” her boyfriend demanded. “Their burgers are big and the fries are the best.”

She resisted the urge to screw up her nose at the memory of a dry meat patty with wilted salad and fries so greasy that they almost oozed. “So long as you don’t take me back there, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Rick shook his head. “You are such a picky eater, Di. But, I guess, with a gorgeous figure like yours, you have justification.”

Diana smiled. It was nice to be appreciated, even in a backhanded way.

Continue to part two.