Part Three
She Said
Trixie was surprised to see Brian again that evening. He dropped in unannounced right after dinner, acting as if there was nothing unusual about the circumstance. Liv had insisted on helping with the washing up, which Helen had accepted at length, but Peter had sent Brian out of the kitchen. Trixie had tried to help in the kitchen, but her father had other ideas.
“I think you’ve helped enough for one day, Trixie. Go and talk to your brother.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but seeing the look on his face, gave up and headed for the living room.
“How are things?” she asked, dropping down next to him.
Brian shrugged. “Pretty much as usual. I’m enjoying the break.”
“And you like Liv.”
He gave her a strange look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “I mean that you’re not annoyed with me for bringing her with me.”
His expression cleared. “No, of course not. It’s been enlightening to meet her.”
“You’ve talked to her heaps of times,” she protested. “She screens all my calls at work and that’s where everyone calls me, even Moms.”
“It’s the only place we can be sure of getting you,” he teased. “And if you’re not there, she’s good at taking messages.”
Trixie nodded, but did not answer.
“You seem a lot more like yourself,” he added, softly. “I hadn’t noticed until now how unlike yourself you’ve been.”
Once more, she nodded. “I feel like I found myself again in Kentucky. I mean, it was hard, moving there, especially because of some of the things that happened there and because of Lucius Englefield, but it’s been good for me, I think.”
“I think so, too.”
“And you’re seeming more like yourself, too,” she added, turning the tables on him. “To what do we owe this fortunate circumstance?”
A wry smile flashed across his face. “Maybe it’s just that I’m really back on track, now.”
“Career-wise?”
“Y-es.” He drew the word out. “That’s a big part of it.”
“And personally?”
He met her eyes and understanding passed between them. “I think I’ve finally come to the point where my old dreams don’t rule me any more. I know who I am – with or without my career, and with or without any relationships I thought that I should have.”
She nodded, thinking. “So, I don’t need to read anything into your actions at the moment? You’re just being yourself and living your life, without any particular aspirations, other than your studies?”
“Those are enough to keep me busy,” he answered. “I need uncomplicated at the moment. I’m not looking for trouble.”
She sighed, suppressing a grin. “You should stay away from me, in that case!”
A wry smile twisted his face. “I’ll take my chances, sis.”
He Said
“If it isn’t my lost love, torn from the grasp of her evil oppressor,” Dan greeted, as he crossed Crabapple Farm’s back yard to where Liv rested on the back porch in the evening cool.
“In the flesh,” Liv answered, without quite looking at him.
Dan’s heart sank. Something was wrong.
“Well, don’t just stand there.” Liv waved to the other side of the swing. “Sit down.”
He walked over slowly and eased himself down, careful not to actually touch her.
“Nice evening.” He settled back more comfortably. “You had a good day?”
“Fine.” She still seemed distracted and, somehow, wrong. “You?”
He nodded. “Busy. Productive, I guess you could say. You have plans for tomorrow?”
“I met Jim,” she blurted out. “By accident. I was out walking and I think I wandered onto his land by mistake.”
“He wouldn’t mind,” he answered.
She frowned. “He didn’t seem to. But it got me wondering. He’s the one, isn’t he?”
“What one?” Dan had an inkling of what she was asking, but did not want to volunteer any information.
“The one that Trixie’s hung up on. The one who hurt her so much that she moved to Kentucky. The one she won’t talk about, won’t even say his name.”
He considered for a moment just how much to say. “I think she hurt him even more than he hurt her. Actually, if you ask me, it was more Trixie’s fault than Jim’s.”
Liv frowned. “Really? That’s not the impression she gave me.” She hesitated. “I thought he seemed… nice. Sad, but nice.”
Dan shrugged. “Yeah. I guess.”
“And you’re saying that he’s just as hurt by the whole thing, if not more, as Trixie is? But why isn’t anyone helping them?”
“What do you expect us to do?” he burst out. He couldn’t help it. “We can’t make them make up.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You think that’s what they need?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I’d have thought it was the last thing they needed.”
“Being apart isn’t helping either of them.”
“But you can’t make people stay together, just because you think that’s what’s best for them! It might not be what they want.”
Dan looked away. “It’s what they both want, all right. They’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
She Said
The next morning, Honey arrived at the farm, released her son into his grandmother’s capable hands and asked to be excused.
“I won’t be long, Mrs. Belden. I just wanted a talk with Trixie.”
“It’s Helen,” her mother-in-law reminded her. “And take as long as you like. I have an easy day planned, after all the busyness of the last week or two.”
Honey smiled and thanked her, then followed Trixie out the kitchen door, just as she had countless times when they were teenagers. Without exchanging a word, their steps turned in unison towards the lake.
“So, do you believe me yet?” she asked, a slight teasing smile on her lips. “About Brian and Liv, I mean.”
Trixie sighed. “I talked to Brian and… well, I’m sorry, Honey, but I’m not getting anything from him on this. I think you must have been imagining it.”
Her best friend made a frustrated growl. “I did nothing of the sort. It doesn’t matter what he says, because he wouldn’t say anything yet, when everything is still only potential and not really real, yet. I know, Trixie. I saw it for myself.”
Trixie frowned. “But I can’t see it. Yes, it’s true that I think he’s finally given up on you – you’d think when you married Mart that he would’ve gotten the hint, but that’s stubborn Beldens for you – but I think it’s just that. He doesn’t look at you like it hurts, but he doesn’t look at her like she’s his heart’s desire, either.”
“I hurt him. I know that.” Honey’s voice was small. “He guards himself, now, which he didn’t do before, which is why you’re not seeing it, but if you actually looked, you’d see the same thing that I see; at least, I think you’d see, but maybe you wouldn’t, because I know him in a different way than you do.”
“If you’re about to admit to knowing him in the Biblical sense, I don’t want to know about it!” Trixie blurted.
Honey rolled her eyes. “I only know one of your brothers in the Biblical sense and I think you know already which one that is, on account of my having married him and had his son.”
“I don’t need you to draw me a diagram!” Trixie dropped her pained expression and giggled. “You know, it’s such a relief to be able to talk to you about this kind of stuff again, even if it’s just speculation on other people’s love lives.”
Honey smiled in return. “I’ve missed this, too.”
“I’ve missed you,” Trixie admitted softly. “I’m really sorry for the way things have turned out. I didn’t want it to be this way.”
“It’s going to get better, I just know it.” Tears welled in her eyes. “For you, at least, even if it doesn’t for me.”
Trixie turned and stared at her, then pulled her into a hug. “Don’t say that, Hon. You have a much better chance at a happy ending than I do.”
Honey blinked the tears away and forced a smile. “If you say so.”
“I know so.”
He Said
“Well?” Mart tried to control the urgency in his voice, with limited success. “What did the doctor say?”
Originally, he had intended to be there with her, holding her hand, but a series of minor delays led to his meeting her in the car park outside, just after her appointment.
“He went through my test results for me,” she answered.
“And?” he asked, unable to see the outcome in her expression.
Honey shrugged. “There’s nothing obviously wrong. Nothing. No clue at all.” She bit back a sob. “They didn’t find anything, which puts us back where we started.”
Mart watched her for a few moments, rubbing her back. “So, is there anything to be done? Did he suggest anything that might help?”
Honey shrugged. “As far as it goes, we were already doing all of the right things. And if I want to stick to my resolution of avoiding medical intervention, there’s nothing else.”
He pulled her into a hug, heedless of the occasional passing car. “I’m sorry, Honey. I was hoping there was something he could do for you.”
She nodded, her face rubbing against his chest. “I was hoping that, too. Now, there just isn’t any hope left.”
He pulled back. “No. That’s not right.”
A weak smile played across her lips. “That’s what I choose. I give up. If it happens, it happens, but I’m not trying any more. It just hurts too much to fail.”
Mart looked into her eyes and saw a peace there, which had been missing for too long. He nodded once.
“Let’s go home.”
She Said
Trixie strolled out to her car and dropped a last few odds and ends into the back seat. Liv was standing nearby, chatting with her hostess.
“Thank you so much for coming, Trixie,” her mother repeated. “And Liv, too. You were so much help.”
Trixie shrugged. “I think you had everything under control.”
“Maybe. But with your help, I could do so much more.”
She smiled and hugged her mother goodbye, dropping a kiss on her cheek as well. “One of us will call you when we get there,” she promised. “Thanks for everything!”
“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Belden.” Liv smiled. “I had a great time and it was so good to meet you in person.”
They got into the car amidst another round of farewells and Trixie started down the driveway to the road.
“I don’t believe for a minute that she needed my help,” she confided, as they pulled out onto Glen Road. “I got in the way more than I helped anyway.”
Liv frowned. “Maybe she was tired and just wanted some company while she worked.”
Trixie shook her head. “No. She had some other reason why she wanted me here. And I know who knows what it is, but he wasn’t saying a word.”
“One of your brothers? No; Dan.”
“The very same.” Trixie sighed. “I get the idea that I achieved whatever it was they brought me for; I just don’t know what it is that I did.”
Liv started ticking items off on her fingers. “You helped your mother. You saw your brothers and all your friends. You tried to set me up with Dan.”
“Hey! I did not! At least, not exactly.”
“You showed me all the places that you grew up knowing,” Liv continued, unheeding of the interruption. “You ate huge numbers of really yummy cookies. And you didn’t get annoyed that I got on with everyone, sometimes better than you did.”
Trixie laughed. “Why should I be annoyed by that?”
“Some people might be jealous.”
“Jealousy isn’t usually one of my failings,” Trixie answered, then wondered whether that was really true.
“Well, I was glad you weren’t annoyed, anyway.” Liv smiled. “I really did have a good time. I’d like to go back, one day.”
“I might take you up on that,” Trixie answered. “If I ever open my own business back home, I’ll need someone to keep me from drowning in paperwork.”
Liv groaned, but soon both of them were laughing.
He Said
A light breeze ruffled the leaves as Jim walked the path that led from Ten Acres to Manor House. He never could bring himself to drive between the houses when visiting, unless they were gripped by a blizzard, or some other extreme weather event.
He was lost in thought, listening to the sounds of the woods, when he passed the place where the path branched towards Crabapple Farm and a voice hailed him.
“Jim!”
Turning, he saw Brian approaching.
“Sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
His friend shrugged the matter off. “I dropped in to see Moms and Dad and decided to just walk up. It didn’t seem worth driving.”
Jim smiled at the correlation with his own thoughts and the pair lapsed into companionable silence.
“It’ll be strange to have almost all of us back near Sleepyside,” Brian noted, a short time later. “Almost like old times.”
Jim shrugged. “Maybe.”
Since he had heard that Di was returning, he not given the matter much thought. He was glad, for his sister’s sake, that she would have another female friend nearby. A part of him was unspeakably relieved that the reunion would happen after Trixie left for Kentucky. He had watched her drive away a couple of days ago, unnoticed, he hoped. They had not interacted at all during her visit.
“You don’t want her to come back?” Brian asked, an odd note in his voice.
Jim stopped walking. “What? Who?”
“Diana. You don’t want her coming back.”
“That’s not what I meant.” For a moment, Jim measured his words. “I’ll be happy to see her and I’m pleased she’s chosen to come back. I just don’t expect it’ll be like old times; I’m pretty sure those days are gone forever. And some of them, I’m glad to be gone.”
Brian smiled. “Yeah, I think so, too. I don’t miss people spying on us, or those teenage dramas.”
Jim returned the smile. “Those are things I can definitely live without.”
She Said
A thrill ran through Diana as she turned onto Glen Road. The weariness she had felt for the last hour melted away as the familiar places flashed past her windows. She slowed to enter the Manor House drive and crawled up the hill, coming to a stop in one of the guest parking spaces. If all was to plan, her friends would be waiting inside.
She climbed out of the car, but hesitated to shut the door. Instead, she stood and gazed across at the house, with the Preserve stretching out behind it. Down the slope and out of sight from here, she knew that the lake and the Belden residence awaited her. It seemed like such a long time since she had been here and yet she could not motivate herself to move.
A figure came around the corner of the garage and stopped abruptly. A slow smile spread across Dan’s face and he came to her, pulling her in for a hug and kissing her cheek. He stepped back and looked her over.
“It’s been too long,” he told her. “But you look good.”
“I’m just so happy to be home.” She smiled up at him. “You look good, too.”
He shrugged that off. “Some of the others are waiting for you inside. It’ll be almost like old times.”
Her smile faded a little. “I’m sorry I missed Trixie. I thought, for a while, that we might all get to be together, but I just couldn’t get here before she left.”
“She and Jim… well, they’re still avoiding each other. You won’t get the two of them in the same room without a fight.”
“I suppose not. Still, I want to catch up with her in person. She seems better, but I’m not sure.”
He nodded and they began to walk. “What about you? Are you okay?”
She hesitated a moment. “Yes, I think so. I don’t feel sad, or disappointed, or anything like that. Maybe it just hasn’t sunk in, yet. Or, maybe I didn’t care as much as I thought I did.”
“Maybe.” He frowned. “Maybe it gets easier.”
“With practice? You mean, I turned into a screaming fishwife with Mart, I was sad and regretful with you, but with Eric I just can’t bring myself to care any more?” She laughed. “Poor Eric.”
“It was a slow drifting apart,” he pointed out. “It’s not the same thing.”
“We drifted apart.” She shook her head. “And I got to keep you as a friend. I doubt I’ll ever see Eric again in my whole life, unless it’s by sheer accident in a crowded street or something.”
Dan grinned. “I’m irreplaceable. Eric is just another guy.”
She swatted his arm and they climbed the front stairs together. The door was flung open from within and Honey raced out.
“Oh, you’re here. I’m so glad.” She embraced her friend so hard they almost fell over, saved only by Dan’s strong arms around them both.
“Easy,” he urged, giving them a gentle push towards the door.
“Come right in. We’re in the library. Mother’s busy redecorating again and it’s the only room that’s really comfortable at the moment.” Honey paused as they passed a man carrying a paint tin in each hand. “I was going to have you come to my place, but even with half the house taken apart, it’s still more convenient here – though, I should have thought of Jim’s place, only originally Trixie was going to be here, too, and that just wouldn’t work.”
“I wouldn’t mind what surroundings we were in,” Di answered. “It’s just so great to be back and to see everyone.”
They entered the library, where Mart was reclining in a chair and Jim played cars with Joshie on the floor. Jim got to his feet and gave Di a quick hug.
“Welcome home,” he greeted. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Home,” she repeated. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m feeling.”
He Said
“What are you looking at?” Brian asked his brother in a low voice. He had been observing for some time and had come to the conclusion that something was afoot.
Mart jolted out of his reverie. “What? Nothing. At least, I’m looking at the absence of something, rather than anything concrete.”
Brian cast him an enquiring look. “Care to elucidate?”
For a moment, it seemed that Mart was going to launch into one of his old, tortuous statements, filled with obscure words, but the temptation passed.
“I was just noticing the positive effect that Di is having on Honey. I saw it with Trixie, too – and if you’ve got any influence in that quarter, I’d very much appreciate it if you could convince her to come back permanently.” He paused, looking at his wife. “She needs things that I can’t give her.”
Brian nodded, slowly. He had no intention of commenting on the request – that situation was better left alone, in his opinion – and the second statement was one on which his opinion would not be welcome.
“Do you think Di’s back to stay?” Mart asked, when his brother did not answer. “Or, is this just a stop on her way to somewhere else?”
“I hadn’t given it any thought,” Brian admitted. “I think I’d like it if she stayed.”
Mart nodded. “But we don’t always get what we want.”
Brian looked at him, long and hard. “True. I’ve had to learn to be happy with what I have.”
Mart turned his eyes back to Honey, who was laughing with Di about something neither he nor Brian had heard. “That’s easier said than done, especially when it’s someone else’s happiness that is all that you really want.”
“She looks happy now.”
Mart nodded. “Yeah. And I hope it’s going to last. She deserves it.”
She Said
The next weekend, Honey invited Di over for coffee and a chat, sending Mart and Joshie to the park. As the day was not too hot, they chose to sit at the picnic table, in the shade of the big tree in the back yard. A cooling breeze rustled through the leaves and made the flowers wave. Their talk ranged over many topics, but inevitably turned to the topic of Trixie and Liv’s visit and the various reactions it had caused.
“And of course there wasn’t anything in Dan and Liv’s flirting,” Honey declared. “Though, Trixie, would you believe, thought that there might be.”
Di giggled. “She never was perceptive when it came to developing love affairs. She wouldn’t see something unless it was right under her nose.”
“Even then, I wonder.”
“Did you notice something?” Di leaned forward. “You did. Who?”
“Brian.”
Her friend gaped. “Really?”
“Trixie didn’t notice a thing until I pointed it out to her.” Honey gazed skywards. “And then she didn’t actually believe me. She tried to argue that it’s his attitude to me that had changed, not his attitude to Liv.”
“His attitude to you has changed, hasn’t it?”
Honey nodded. “But that happened ages ago. I don’t know how Trixie didn’t notice, but she didn’t.”
“And nothing actually happened between them, did it?” Di prompted. “So far as you know, I mean.”
Honey shook her head. “Brian’s being Brian – you know, conservative and measured and sensible. He doesn’t want a long-distance relationship.”
“No. He wouldn’t.” Di frowned. “But what about Liv? Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet her, too. I feel like I’ve missed everything.”
“We should take a trip down there one weekend and visit them,” Honey suggested, bouncing a little with the excitement of the idea. “Mart wouldn’t mind taking care of Joshie and we could have a girls weekend, just the four of us, because Liv is just as fun in person as she is over the phone and I’m sure we’d have a good time all getting to know each other; at least, you and I and Liv would get to know each other; Trixie knows all of us already.”
“Honey, you’re a genius! I mean, I can’t right away, because I need to find somewhere to live and get settled into this new job first, but maybe in a few weeks we can do that. It sounds like so much fun.”
Honey nodded. “And, in the meantime, you can still get to know Liv over the phone. Maybe you’ll be better at getting hints from her than I am.”
“I’m sure I won’t be.” She sighed. “It’d be great if Brian found someone. It seemed so unfair that he kept thinking that he’s found the one, then she turns out not to be.”
“Mmm. But how will they get any further if they keep living in separate states?”
“I don’t want Brian moving to Kentucky,” Di noted. “It’s bad enough that Trixie’s there without another Bob-White leaving, just as I’ve gotten back.”
“Well, we’ll have to think of a way that Liv can come here. You don’t suppose Trixie would like a Sleepyside branch to her foundation, do you?”
“Let’s look out for deep, unfulfilled needs in the community, ready for her to work on,” Di suggested. “Or, failing that, something that both Trixie and Liv would like to come back for.”
Honey sighed. “It’s not much of a plan, but it will have to do.”
“Now, tell me all about Joshie’s stashes at Jim’s house. Mart only told me a little.”
Honey laughed and complied.
He Said
“Ah, my lost love, shackled once more to an unforgiving tyrant.” Dan sighed. “Life is so cruel.”
“Very true,” Liv replied. “But the tyrant is leaning over me as we speak, so you might need to get on with it.”
He laughed. “Tell Trixie that she’s needed for a Bob-White chat on Saturday night. No excuses. Better yet, write it on her schedule.”
“Done. And I’ll send her fourteen reminders in the lead-up, so she won’t forget.”
“I am not forgetful!” he heard Trixie complain in the background.
Dan smiled. “Thanks. I will rescue you someday from the despicable servitude.”
“I look forward to it.” Liv laughed. “Talk to you soon.”
Dan felt content as he ended the call. Everything was back the way it was before.
She Said
Trixie frowned at Liv, who wore a faint smile after her conversation with Dan.
“You and Dan are going to overthrow me one day, aren’t you?”
“What?” Liv shook her head. “It’s just a joke, Trixie. You know that.”
“Yeah. I know.” She sighed. “What did he want?”
Liv repeated the message, then returned to telling Trixie about a local difficulty, which they had been discussing before the call came through.
“They need to learn to sort out these things for themselves,” Trixie complained, at the end of a long explanation of the dispute. “I can’t hold their hands all the time.”
“It’s not a big deal this time,” Liv commented. “But you are good at sorting out the big problems. You know you are.”
“I don’t want to do this any more!” Trixie blurted, then covered her mouth with her hand. “I can’t believe I just said that. This is important. It’s worthwhile. It’s the thing that’s been keeping me going for the last year. I don’t want to just give up.”
Liv hesitated, choosing her words. “You wouldn’t be giving up. You’d be… passing the torch.”
Trixie stared. “You’re right. This isn’t about me. It started without me being here, except part-time, and it will continue if I leave again.”
“We’d miss you. It wouldn’t be the same place without you.”
She frowned. “No, and I’d have to change some things. If I don’t watch out, there’s going to be rumours and unsettledness and people feeling threatened. Do you think I should put out some kind of memo?”
Liv rolled her eyes. “Is it going to go, ‘Dear staff, I don’t want you to panic, but I’m about to change everything. Everything will be fine, though, because I’m leaving town. Sincerely, Trixie.’”
She laughed. “Well, I was going to get you to draft it for me, but that wasn’t what I had in mind. I was thinking more like reassuring everyone that no jobs will be lost and asking their suggestions on things that should be improved. I want everyone excited, not panicked.”
“Okay. I’ll see what I can do.” She jotted a few notes. “Do you have a time frame for this?”
Trixie shrugged. “Not really. I only just decided now. I’ll need to train people for new stuff and appoint someone to replace me and rearrange things to fit.”
Liv nodded and half-turned away, her smile now bitter-sweet. “Let me know what you need me to do.”
Trixie walked through the rooms, checking here and there before she locked up. She was the last one there, having spent an extra couple of hours going through her office and throwing things out. When she trained someone to take over from her, she wanted them to be able to have something of a fresh start. That meant cleaning out the old.
The stairs creaked underfoot as she descended. She set the alarm and locked the door. Not wanting to leave just yet, she walked through the grounds, pausing at the front of the property, where she had a good view of the old building.
For several minutes, Trixie stood and stared up at the house. She was proud of all that had been achieved here. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the work that had started here would continue for a long time to come, maybe even longer than her lifetime. She also knew that a necessary chapter in her life was ending.
“I think it’s time to go home.”
The wind took the whispered words away and blended them with the sound of the rustling leaves. And for the first time in months, Trixie felt at peace.
The End